Doctor to me: I’m going to send you for an ultrasound on your breast just to make sure because it seems like a surface thing, but sometimes these things get missed for a while because people assume they’re surface things. But with the heavy periods and the back pain, you’ll just have to … you [...]

Oh. My. God. Know-it-all ten year olds. All evening he’s been treating us to snide pronouncements on how to raise his younger sisters. Both Ethan and Rachel had homework, but Rachel forgot hers at school. “Well,” (you have to picture the 10-year old hauteur implicit in his tone) “You shouldn’t have let Rachel use the [...]

“You’re working pretty hard at playing that drum.” “Yep. Til my fingers bleed. …Though I guess that’s going to take a long time.” “You might want to put some sandpaper on the head.”

Me: When I was a kid, I had to wrap myself up in my blankets with a certain system before I could go to sleep. It was designed for the maximum rolling without leaving myself uncovered. Ian: Wow. That doesn’t seem like you at all. I seriously don’t realize what a weird kid I was [...]