I think my thyroid’s function is low again. I gained nearly 15 lbs in just 2 months right after we moved into this house (I think I have got rid of 5 of those lbs now). My shoulders and arms have been in knots. My pelvis feels like it’s so misaligned that some days going up stairs feels like an effort that will rip it apart. I’ve been so sleepy I could fall asleep at 6:00 every evening. And all that feels like being depressed.

I’m pretty determined that this is going to be my thyroid just making everything feel something similar to depression. In no way am I prepared to be actual-depressed. I just don’t have time for it right now.

Experimentally I upped my levothyroxin yesterday and felt so much better by the end of the day. And then was like, “well shit. That will screw my TSH levels if I need to get blood tests to prove my thyroid is lower-functioning than before so I can get my doctor to authorize a for-realz long-term upped dosage.” So today I’m back to the lower dose and I’m walking around like a zombie.

I have to finish Hannah’s Hallowe’en costume tonight, as well as my own, as well as Rachel’s because tomorrow I need to stay at work late (though maybe not too late?) and Thursday I have the marathon of household dance lessons and Friday is Hallowe’en dress-up day at work, so my costume has to be done at least. And I could postpone the kids’ costume finishing until Saturday except that I volunteered to work late Friday and come in Saturday afternoon. And then a discussion about another projects’ needs today prompted someone to be like, “might be a good idea if some of us came in to work this weekend,” and I was like, “would love to, but I’ll already be here for this other project.”

I am not feeling down, I said.

But maybe I could go back to self-diagnosing and self-medication-upping just until this week is over? Ugh.