One Day I Will Rule the World

World Domination, Babies and Middle Eastern Dance

March 22, 2010


Hannah is really particular and even in a good mood will boss us around mercilessly. Lotsa parents, I’m sure, would have bunches to say about this – but we’ve two older ones that both exhaust us too much to fight with the little one and who also seem to be turning out okay in spite of our lack of moral fibre.

Anyhow, Hannah’s bossing. People comment a lot on how verbal she is. And all along I’ve been like, “whatever. Her siblings understood as much as she does, as early – if they talked later it was about motivation and readiness. Where she’s advanced is just that she figured out earlier than them that she’d be a lot happier the sooner she could boss us around.”


Hannah: No mum buckle me in.

Ian: Hannah, I’m right here. I can buckle you in.

Me: I can do it, if it prevents a fight.

Ian: Okay. [Gets out of the way and gets into the front seat]

Hannah: No Dad buckle me in.

Ian: Okay. [Twists around from the front seat]

Hannah: No, both you guys buckle me in.

Me: Uh…

Hannah: No Dad do it.

Me: Why don’t I help? [since Ian is twisted up trying to do it from where he is]

Hannah: No! Don’t you guys both do it!! Only dad do it!

Me [amused]: “Don’t you guys”?

Hannah: No, you’re not a guy. You’re a girl. Dad’s a guy.

[Ian and I look at each other with mouths open. Look back at Hannah.]

Me: She thinks she’s so smart.

Hannah [beaming]: Yes and thanks!

Me: You’re a freak.

Anyhow, I got my confirmation of enrollment for this fiction writing workshop this summer. It tells me I have to read three new young adult fantasy novels before the class. I don’t know if by “new” they mean “new to me” or “newly published”. But if anyone has any recommendations, I’ll take them. It’s been so long since I aimlessly hung out in a fantasy section. This is a bad sign for my Speculative-Fiction-writing career.

My budding feminist seven year old remarked tonight, “I just noticed that the girls die off a lot in movies just for the plot. Like in Up, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and Finding Nemo.”


She’s also started remarking on movies where the girls don’t get to do much.

Sadly, she’s still watching My Little Ponies movies – which…. teeeeeechnically pass the Bechdel test. But only because it’s an all-girl troupe training little girls in patriarchal compliance (porn-giggles and pillow fights). The biggest crisis is “but will we make it to the rainbow festival?” or “oh no! Is our ice-cream tower so big it might fall over?”


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  1. Alison

     /  2010-03-22

    Hey – I didn’t get that. Oh, wait. I got a confirmation. I just didn’t read it. Good to know. The workshop leader has published at least one YA novel – but that would be pretty brown-nosey. I’m going to put out a call on facebook to all my book industry friends for recommendations.

  2. Shit, son, I hope the ice cream tower doesn’t fall over!!!!! I want to eat it forever!

  3. gish

     /  2010-03-26

    Being a librarian – or sometime librarian – I should have more suggestions for young adult fantasy novels, but I don’t. ;_; Particularly new ones. But one of my favorites is “A Wrinkle in Time.” (I guess it’s kind of sci-fi, but has fantasy elements as well.) And I think “The Phantom Tollbooth” was good, but is also old. “American Gods” is the newest I can think of that isn’t like Harry Potter or something, and it could possibly pass for young adult fiction. Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett both write some pretty good fantasy-type stuff. (Remind me never to apply for a youth librarian position.)


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