So, as soon as I’d started talking myself into being fine with easing up on myself and focusing on getting as much rest as possible in order to improve my health, then the Thursday dance practice that usually goes from 6-9 instead went from 6-10:30. And then they informed us that they felt they had to add Monday night practices to the schedule since things are not coming along as well as they probably should.

Then, Friday night, Ian arranged a last minute fishing trip with a friend for today. I was pretty put out. We’ve been so, SO busy lately. It seems like every night is taken up with tasks, every weekend has has some giant thing on the to-do list or some special occasion requiring us to run around all weekend. Last weekend we didn’t have anything. We got up on Saturday and walked down to the farmer’s market, like we did a bunch last summer. And we stopped at the antique stores on broadway. And we spent the afternoon with all the kids at home, putzing around the house and drinking coffee. I thought, “oh my god. I need to spend my summer weekends like this. At least a few more weeks of this before we think of accomplishing anything more or shaking things up in any way.”

And then at the end of the weekend, Blue Milk had this post about contemporary family life. I remember thinking how it was full of interesting information and yet the only thing that was going to stick with me was her aside:

“we have spent almost every night together in the same house since having children and I have never missed him more!”

You know those statements that are so true for you that it affects you almost physically when you hear someone else unexpectedly articulate it. I spent the week turning that over in my head and thinking about the times when we have felt more connected, thinking now that my drumming lessons are over and this wedding planning is nearly over, we don’t have to pack so much into one week do we?

When he was organizing this outing, he kept stopping to say, “is this okay with you? I don’t want this to make you miserable.” But I could hardly tell him not to do it when I know he would do the same for me. In fact, is doing more for me next weekend while I leave for four nights for a writing workshop. And he always does so with more grace. And if there is anything that has suffered in the last six months more than our collective relaxation, it is probably his social life. So there’s that.

Yeah, and then while he was planning this outing, Hannah’s daycare owner called to pour her heart out about how on top of losing the lease on her current location and losing her main employee (which I knew) her son had been back in the hospital for the last two weeks after surgery on his back had left him with a spinal e. coli infection (which I didn’t know) and she had been at the hospital every day and was not prepared to make the transition to a new location and new employee on Monday and would I just understand if she wasn’t open next week.

Ugh. Ian and I were talking about it and he said, “I certainly have a lot of sympathy for her position. We’ll make it work.” And I said, “well, yeah. There really isn’t an option. What was I supposed to say? ‘Uh, no. That doesn’t work for me.'”

I’m not sure whether three days at home with Hannah will be more or less restful than going to work. On the one hand, I can get up at 7 instead of at 5. On the other hand, there is bound to be some amount of running around and juggling since I was in the middle of a number of things at work and am not remotely prepared to not be at work finishing those things. Also I would not characterize Hannah as a, uh, low-key child. Sometimes she’s delightfully, supremely independent. But in a two-year old, independence mostly translates to, “I’m gonna do my own thing, dammit. NOW YOU, get on facilitating that.”

However. After this week, oh and this trip next weekend… Okay after two weeks, well, then we will be three weeks away from this wedding. And then after the wedding we will be a week and a half away from dance performances. But after all that, I will damn well settle down and get some fucking rest.