One Day I Will Rule the World

World Domination, Babies and Middle Eastern Dance

January 30, 2012

Last Monday

I gave my notice at work a week ago. At the end of this week, I’m done.

Then the plan is to work from home. I’m taking Hannah out of daycare and Rachel out of her after school program. It’s still going to be dreadfully tight – but we can survive for a bit, while I figure out what I’m going to do to make money.

Don’t think I don’t know what a ridiculous privilege it is to be in that position.

There was a point when I was going back to work after having Hannah and the point was raised that with three kids in daycare, it was pretty much not worth it for my salary and I raged me some big feminist rage about how stupid that is and that just because I, as a woman, get paid less for doing the same job as Ian that my job is considered the obviously more disposable one. It wasn’t that Ian was hard-core pushing me to not work – but we were trying to approach it logically and I don’t think at the time that he saw why I would be angry with him for pointing out logical facts like, “It just makes sense for the lower income spouse to consider the costs and benefits of their salary.”

And I did go back to work, on the merits of, “well they won’t always be in daycare, but if I don’t go back to work now, it will be a lot harder to do in ten years and besides there’s more value to a career than just the salary”.

And now that we’re on the cusp of not needing daycare for them – I’m going home.

I have some plans. Well, too many plans really. Primarily I’m going to program an app that’s been on my mind for the last year or so. Then I’m thinking about other businesses I might like to start. I could really think about finishing writing my book soon too, eh?

Though until next fall, when Hannah starts school, this will all have to be worked around Hannah time.

Additionally I keep thinking, “Oh, I can keep the house cleaner and do some of the maintenance stuff during the week so that we can relax more on our weekends,” “I can practice dance more regularly,” “I can do yoga and stretching every day,” “I can spend more time outdoors,” “I can take Hannah on excursions,” “I can do crafts with the kids,” “I can try to pick up drumming again,” “I can sew a whole bunch of clothes and things for around the house,” “I can bake and make more suppers from scratch,” “I can get an early start on my Christmas crafting,” and so on.

Setting myself up for failure by overestimating my capabilities? Whut?

It is complicated to leave such a big company that you have been at so long. I have so many ties there and there are so many people that I’m going to miss and so many people whom I feel I am letting down and so many causes and changes I put my all into achieving and now that those causes are progressing, I have to leave it to someone else to see them to completion.

On the other hand, when I’m not being terrified about my new ventures, I’m super-excited. There are so many other things I’m ready to put my all into achieving.


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