One Day I Will Rule the World

World Domination, Babies and Middle Eastern Dance

March 19, 2013


I don’t think I could ever be a family court judge. there is just too much crap and vitriol to wade through – even in the cases that are more or less rational

 I have been working very, very hard on some paid client work. as our goal is to pay off all our consumer debt this year, this will, ultimately, be helpful. but right now I’m sleep deprived and missing my evenings drinking tea and watching This Old House with Ian

a friend of mine is going through resolving her divorce and custody in court. it is obviously more stressful for her than it is for me, but some of our conversations have stirred up some memories of my own that I am having a little trouble dealing with just lately

I read through some of my old journals recently, and I keep thinking I just want to throw them all out. they never have the information I’m looking for when I go back through them. and if there’s anything in journaling that’s for other people, the stories in them aren’t the ones that I think are important to tell. maybe I could start new retrospective journals that went back and did tell the stories that I think are important

my little cousin (pseudo-sister) is in London right now and then goes to Paris next week. I’m a hundred kinds of jealous, but also just so, so happy knowing that she’s having this adventure

I took Hannah for a hair cut yesterday and asked for a pixie cut “like emma watson’s”. it is exactly what Hannah wanted and this morning when some of the other kindergartners said ‘you look like a boy’, she just beamed with pride and said, ‘well I know. that’s what I wanted!’

one little boy who is a very good friend of hers, said ‘Hannah! Do you think my hair is still a little bit shorter than yours?’ and when I quipped, ‘nope, you’re pretty much twins,’ they stood in the hallway for a solid moment, frozen and beaming at each other until his mother said, ‘you know, they do kind of look alike,’ which seems exceptionally sweet because he is a slender, Indian boy and she is a round-cheeked white girl, but I guess that beaming and that moment of connection – oh and the haircut, of course – transformed them

in the last few days we have received so much snow and the morning temperatures have been -25C, which seems like a slap in the face when the sun is shining so hard and the birds are singing their hearts out like it’s spring

I’m so desperate for spring weather and a bit of a break from working, so I’ve been getting through each day saying, ‘soon you will be done these projects and it will be spring’. but today I am playing with the idea that instead of getting through today by looking ahead to better times, I should remind myself that this is part of what I am actively choosing for my life. Soon today will be nothing more than a tiny patch in a tapestry of days and of those days I want the pattern to say, “I chose a life with Saskatchewan winters, three kids and no sleep, I got so excited about new projects I was always spreading myself too thin – and I loved it!'”

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